


just need enough of you to dull the pain

by awesomems



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, M/M, i'm kinda surprised that's not an official tag, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 10:41:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16195898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomems/pseuds/awesomems
Summary: alexander was bright, colorful, alive. not like john, who lived his life through a black and white lens, not feeling anything.





	just need enough of you to dull the pain

**Author's Note:**

> just a short oneshot i wrote to take my mind off some things and put my feelings on paper
> 
> title from twin skeleton's(hotel in nyc) by fall out boy

he felt it in his heart. it was weighing him down. he felt it in his lungs. it took more work to breathe. in his head, it was a fog he couldn’t break through, it was  _ everywhere _ , taking over like an ever growing darkness that swallowed up everything in its path. he didn’t bother fighting it, why should he? 

alexander knocked on the door. alexander had such a loud presence(not that it was a bad thing). alexander was bright, colorful,  _ alive _ . not like john, who lived his life through a black and white lens, not feeling anything. i’m going to open the door, is that okay? he asked. was it okay? john wondered. he didn’t want alexander to see him like this, but, deep down, he wanted him to save him from it. 

alexander doesn’t wait for anybody. he does what he wants, when he wants. sometimes it got him into trouble, but it was probably a good thing when he opened the door even though john hadn’t realized he never responded. 

alexander wordlessly slipped into john’s bed, took john’s hand into his. do you want to talk about it? he asked. maybe later, john responded so low he didn’t know if alexander had caught it, but he did. he understood. neither of them said anything. alexander’s presence was more comfort than john could’ve ever asked for.

they should probably talk, but not right now. right now john just wants to sleep, wants alexander to hold him until the fog clears. maybe if alexander stayed long enough the grey would be just a little more bearable, the weight a little lighter. 

yeah, he should probably talk to someone about it, but not tonight.

  
  



End file.
